Victim of Sex Crime Reporting
I’m sorry God, but you don’t seem to care if the actions of your believers causes immense pain. You certainly haven’t put any effort into supporting me in obtaining justice for sexual assault and I have had to endure religious platitudes for decades. If there are only words and inaction from powerful men including the, now former, Prime Minister, then the injustice to sex crime victims continues unabated.
I’m a child sexual assault victim…no, survivor. Survivor sounds more empowering but, truth be told, I’m merely an accidental survivor. Did I fail at suicide or succeed in not suiciding? Regardless, I am still alive when I frequently sought not to be. Despite surviving my trauma, I’m now a victim of the reporting process. Each day offers an ominous threat of denial, persecution, triggering rhetoric, and fear. I so desperately want to be a survivor of our sex crime system but, devoid of control, I despair.
Thirty-odd years ago, Rev. Neil Wykes was advised by his Youth Pastor of my sexual assaults at the hands of two men from the Maroubra Baptist Church youth group. No action was taken by Rev. Wykes to report the crime to police, dismissing it as kids mucking around. After several meetings with my parents, Rev. Wykes claimed he told nobody of the assaults because to do so would be gossip and he doesn’t talk about gossip. In an email to me, Rev. Wykes helpfully advised that God “can heal your hurts. He can minister to you like nobody else can.” Oh, lovely, so God could’ve helped me but hasn’t done a thing for thirty years. Not much of a loving deity. Now I am a victim of religious dogma.
Maroubra Baptist Church celebrated their centenary in 2016 and extended an invitation to me. Unsurprisingly, I declined to attend their festivities, but my two perpetrators accepted their invitations. I did not mince my words in my written rebuke of the church’s insensitivity. Rev. Wykes justified his invitations to victim and perpetrator alike because he was “excited to extend a warm invitation to anyone who had ever been a part of us.” Why would the church let a pesky police investigation interfere with a party? The Federal Treasurer, Scott Morrison, attended these centenary celebrations. Before Scott was elected to Parliament or joined Pentecostalism, he was an elder and occasional preacher at Maroubra Baptist Church alongside Rev. Wykes. Scott became an elder after my assaults and I’m not for a moment contending that he knew of them during his tenure as elder. After all, there are no regulatory requirements for churches to openly declare allegations such as these to incoming members of the diaconate or eldership. I am a victim of a lack of institutional care and church regulatory oversight.
Rev. Wykes held his retirement service at the end of 2019 and was succeeded by his son, Darren Wykes. The then Prime Minister’s wife, Jenny Morrison, made it to this retirement party as did one of my perpetrators. My father had a discussion with my perpetrator who empathised with my injuries at his own hand, considering he now had a daughter. He listened to my father express our family’s anguish and he apologised; further requesting those sentiments be expressed to me. My father visited NSW Police to report the admission of a crime, but they refused to take his statement. The perpetrators had admitted their crimes to my two brothers in 1991, which was in witness statements, but apparently this was not enough to prosecute the case (despite the Royal Commission advising me to the contrary). NSW Police did not contact witnesses I named in my witness statement. This most recent admission of guilt was also incapable of being prosecuted, according to NSW Police, saying he could have been apologising for anything. Now I am a victim of our poor sexual assault policing system.
I dragged Rev. Wykes to mediation through the Baptist Union after citing him for a breach of their ethics. My expectations were not high, but mediation opened in prayer, accomplished nothing, and closed in prayer. It was spectacular in its failure. Before I handled my emotional fallout enough to read meeting minutes or provide personal feedback, Rev. Wykes had paid off the Baptist Union mediator and praised him for “…a great conclusion.” The lack of mediator impartiality certainly heralded an abrupt end to proceedings. Rev. Wykes’ sentiments didn’t coincide with my emotional upheaval after seeing his two sons-in-law on social media enjoying a beer with my perpetrator. Now I am a victim of a failed mediation process by the very institution I was trying to call to account.
I am a victim of so many failed components of how society deals with a sex crime. We need to do far better. I’ve lived through it, albeit accidentally, but I don’t need further failures. I want assurance from Scott Morrison that he called Rev. Wykes to account for the failure to report child sexual assault. I don’t want to be a victim of political rhetoric, glib prayers, or platitudes. Australian women need action to quell the violence, sexual or otherwise, against them. If powerful men won’t advocate on our behalf, what chance do we have of success? It’s not an unreasonable request to demand safety. We deserve to be safe as we live our lives; at home, at work, at shops, at pubs, at parks, at church, everywhere and anywhere.